TBH, Daddy-Daughter Dates Have Nothing To Do With “The Patriarchy” 

By taking daughters out and treating them kindly you are teaching them to expect men to love, honor, and cherish them. You are teaching them to expect respect from men. This is anti-patriarchy. 

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This RC Sproul quote was my first thought when I read the blog post in question.

Since today is Valentine’s Day,  and this story came across my feed recently, this seems an apt topic.  

Sunday morning I was greeted first thing with a blog about daddy-daughter dates. The author of this post has decided that treating your daughter with common decency is symptomatic  of “the patriarchy”. She contends that it is “creepy” to take your daughter out and treat her special. Somehow, in her mind, inspiring your daughter to expect respect from men is encouraging “rape culture”. 

First off, I contend that fathers should treat their daughters special just because their daughters are their daughters. This is a little person who loves you and needs your love in return. You’ve been entrusted with her care and with teaching her to be a decent human being in a big ugly world. Treat her special because she is special. 

Secondly, it’s not wrong or “creepy”  to treat your children with common respect. The author’s contention that pulling your child’s chair out for them,  picking out their outfit,  and basically treating them with kindness and love somehow promotes “rape culture” is ridiculous.

Please, stop insisting that a man holding the door for you is “rape”. You’ve destroyed all the meaning of that word and have disrespected every woman who has actually been raped. Rape culture is promoted mostly by teaching little girls that all men are creeps. Set their standards low and they will settle for any sleeze that tells them he loves them. After all, if all men are creeps, why waste time trying to get a good one?  

When a father takes his daughter out and treats her with respect, he’s not teaching her that she is unequal to men. He is teaching her what real love looks like from a man. Real love respects others and treats them not just as equals but, in many respects,  as superiors. Shouldn’t this be desired by modern feminists? Shouldn’t they want this?  

Why do modern feminists insist that equality is a zero-sum game and that we can’t treat people with kindness and also see them as equals? Not only do I open doors for women, I also open doors for men. Is it because I think they are weak, or below me, or not equal? No, it is because I respect them and I like to treat other people with kindness and love. 

Do these women think that men treat other men like dirt and therefore the only way to be equal with men is to be treated like dirt?  Instead of teaching men to stop treating their daughters with special love and care shouldn’t we instead call men to treat other men (and women) with respect?

Must men treat women like dirt in order to be considered up to date with modern feminist equality standards?

She also says that mother son dates aren’t a thing. Personally,  I hope women do take their sons out on dates. Parenting requires one-on-one time with your child. When you have 5 kids like we do it’s darn near impossible to get one-on-one time with each one. Being intentional about getting that time is to be commended. 

Thanks to Freud and the sexual Revolution, our culture is convinced that our sexuality is what defines us as people. Therefore, according to our culture, even showing affection to your kids is somehow sexual. This is just plain stupid. It is not sexual to show affection to your children. If it is every good parent should be in jail. (And if it does in fact become sexual, you deserve worse than jail.) 

It is perverted to suggest that somehow taking your daughter out for dinner, pulling her chair out, opening doors for her,  and calling her beautiful and a princess is somehow sexual. To claim such doesn’t just betray the insecurities of the author, it strongly condemns modern culture with its ridiculous sexual mores. 

Purity balls….

I’ll  give her that purity balls are a little creepy and weird.  Those actually do create a weird sexual tension between fathers and daughters. Yes, you should abstain from sexual activity until you are married, but pledging your purity to your father is a little awkward and kind of creepy. 

But taking your child out one-on-one for special time together is healthy, natural, and should be normal. 

Should we take our daughters out one on on? Yes. Should we also take our sons out one on one? Yes. Should we treat them with dignity and kindness and do kind things for them? Yes. This is teaching them common courtesy and how to treat others like human beings.  It is not teaching them to lay down and accept demeaning treatment.

It has been shown that girls often marry men like their fathers. They learn how men should treat women from how their father treats them and more importantly, their mother. Girls who are abused or watch their mothers be abused often pursue men who abuse. Is this what we want our daughters to do? 
Why do modern feminists want men to continue to marry jerks? Is it because they want to validate their idea that all men are jerks and that all men are part of “the patriarchy”? 

I’m not saying it’s patriarchy, but it’s patriarchy. Actually it isn’t…

Daddy-daughter dating is not patriarchy. Patriarchy is insisting that your daughter or your wife is less than you and that she does not deserve your respect. Patriarchy says that because of her sex she does not deserve honor. As a woman, she deserves nothing but to be under you as a slave or servant. 

Patriarchy views females as less than males. It does not honor them by opening doors, calling them wonderful names, or treating them with respect and dignity. Patriarchy puts women under men’s thumbs. By taking daughters out and treating them kindly, you are teaching them to expect men to love, honor, and cherish them. You are teaching them to expect respect from men. This is anti-patriarchy. 

I suggest to these feminists that if they want to end “the patriarchy” they should call on men to start treating their daughters with kindness and honor. They should encourage them to put their daughters on a pedestal and treat them as individuals worthy of great respect. This will teach their daughters to expect their husbands and all men to respect them and treat them with dignity. 

If daughters are treated like dirt by their father they will learn to accept that treatment by all men. They will continue to support the patriarchy by giving themselves to patriarchal jerk men. Let’s instead encourage them to expect more from men. 

End the patriarchy, and while we are at it, end third and fourth-wave feminism.

Author: driptorchpress

Hey, my name is Jon. I'm a married father of five crazy kids. I write about family and marriage, politics, music, art, and pretty much anything else I want to. I hope you enjoy my page as much as I enjoy writing on it. If you like what you read, be sure to "Like" and share my Facebook Page for more good stuff. https://www.facebook.com/DripTorchPress/

2 thoughts on “TBH, Daddy-Daughter Dates Have Nothing To Do With “The Patriarchy” ”

  1. @DTP

    “Rape culture is promoted mostly by teaching little girls that all men are creeps. “

    Rape culture is promoted by the societal approved notion that men should have unfettered access to women’s bodies. See also th e sexualization and objectification of women that predominates most of our media. Also see the differing socialization that men and women undergo in society that grooms them for the dominant and subservient modes of existence. Our culture, a rape culture, is precisely why organizations such as rainn.org exist. It may be advisable before making propositions, such as the origins of rape culture, to more thoroughly investigate the topic at hand.

    The notion that all men are creeps is inaccurate. The problem is that *enough* men are creeps and blend quite well with the rest of the population of decent men.

    “Set their standards low and they will settle for any sleeze that tells them he loves them.”

    The way you frame this, it would suggest that women choose violent male partners, and thus may be responsible for violent acts against them.

    To commit violence on another human being is the choice of the perpetrator, not the target of his/her violence.

    “Why do modern feminists insist that equality is a zero-sum game and that we can’t treat people with kindness and also see them as equals?”

    Beats the heck out of me. Feminism is the female struggle to liberate women from the constraints of patriarchal society. Feminists that talk about ‘equality’ would seem to be quite misinformed as to the actual state of women in society.

    “our culture is convinced that our sexuality is what defines us as people.”

    A broad generalization. Although one’s sex does determine much of how one is treated, and how one is expected to act in society.

    “It is perverted to suggest that somehow taking your daughter out for dinner, pulling her chair out, opening doors for her, and calling her beautiful and a princess is somehow sexual.”

    Not sexual, but possibly sexist. A large portion of the messages that girls and women receive in society often centre around their appearance and adherence to a set of artificial beauty standards that are damaging to girl’s and women’s self-esteem. Reinforcing comments/compliments to women about their autonomy, intelligence, and assertiveness would go far in correcting the societal norm that a woman’s first value is her physical appearance.

    “Why do modern feminists want men to continue to marry jerks? Is it because they want to validate their idea that all men are jerks and that all men are part of “the patriarchy”?

    Why do we continue to teach boys and men the idea that the use of violence is an acceptable way to resolve conflict? Why do we still accept the rampant sexualization of girls and women in a purportedly civilized society? Why do we allow violent pornography and prostitution to be features in society when the toxic effects to women have been demonstrated repeatedly?

    Why? – The choices men, as a class, make. So perhaps before condemning the feminists, who struggle against male-violence, patriarchy, and pornography (et cetera) it may be advisable to evaluate some of the societal features/problems feminists like to highlight.

    “Patriarchy views females as less than males. It does not honor them by opening doors, calling them wonderful names, or treating them with respect and dignity.”

    The flipside to this is that sometimes the behaviours you mention can reinforce the idea that females are weak, helpless, and need to be protected in society. Opening a door for someone as peer is fine, opening the door because the belief that the person is somehow lesser and and incapable of doing so – not so much.

    “I suggest to these feminists that if they want to end “the patriarchy” they should call on men to start treating their daughters with kindness and honor.”

    I would suggest, that to end patriarchy, we should call on men to treat their daughters as fully autonomous, fully capable human beings, (the qualities that men receive by default) that not only deserve this respect, but should demand it in its absence.

    Like

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