October 2022 – Drip Torch Press

October 11, 2022 driptorchpress Art, Sci-fi, Story

Document 13: A Dystopian Tale, Part 11

Here is Part 11 of “Document 13”, a dystopian graphic novel I’m creating with my daughter. This week: It moved!

Love it? Hate it? I welcome any and all feedback!

The year is 2074, the world has been plunged into darkness. One girl, Sarah Doe, will learn the secrets of the dark forces that run the ruined world. With the help of a few friends, her family, and her own powers she will fight to return the world to an order not known since well before her birth. Will she succeed? Read to find out!

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Scene: Interior hallway. The orderlies are pushing two gurneys towards a large door.

O1: It’s been awhile since we fired this up. We don’t have much time before morning, let’s hope it works still.

He switches on the incinerator.

O1: Alright, just a few minutes and it should be hot enough.

One of the sheets on a gurney moves.

O2: Did you see that?

O1: See what?

O2: It moved!

O1: You’re nuts. They’re dead.

O2: We gotta push them in, bodies creep me out…

O1: Alright, let’s go.

One of the sheets moves again. Sarah moans.

O1: Shit ! What the hell? No one survives outside! We gotta push her in the oven first.

They push the gurney to the oven opening and open the door.
Sarah sits up. She sees what they are about to do. She quickly rolls off the gurney and struggles with the orderlies, knocking one of them towards the incinerator door. His hand goes into the fire.

O1: Aggghh!!!

S: Get off of me!!

O2 lets go of Sarah and rushes to 01. Sarah runs away.

O1: Get her! My arm is not as important as my life!

O2 runs after Sarah.

She manages to make it outside the building but trips and falls just before the airlock door. Orderly 2 catches up and they struggle. The headmistress appears.

HM: What is this?! I thought I told you to dispose of her !

O2: I don’t know, she woke up!

HM: I don’t know what is going on, but you’ve become a real liability around here, Sarah. I may have one last option. Orderly, load her in the transport and take her to the lab.

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October 10, 2022October 10, 2022 driptorchpress Art, Culture, Divorce, Life, Music, Uncategorized

Photographic Catharsis

Catharsis. It’s such a rare beast. Of all the experiences I have ever experienced it seems to be the most endangered and the most short lived.

I’ve been pent up as of late. Old patterns of self-hatred have been rearing their ugly heads. Of course to distract my brain I drowned myself in beer and new projects.

The beer made the patterns more pronounced, the projects just created new negative emotions about all the projects yet to do. I want to do a million things and all that desire just eggs on the anxiety.

“You never see things through. Don’t start something new.”

“Where’s the profit in this? You’re spending money you’ll never make back.”

“There’s so many ways to get where you want to be. Why can’t you just find them?”

“Where do you even want to go?”

“This isn’t the life you wanted. You’re a failure.”

I bought cameras. I made cyanotypes. I made t shirts. I posted posts. I bought film (which I’m now terrified to use). I bought an adapter and a controller and two games for my old Nintendo 64. I ordered prints. I dug out old treasures from the closet.

Each and every time I hoped something would give me a little punch of endorphins that would push my negative thoughts and emotions out for good.

Nope.

But a few days ago I did find something that made me pause and *almost* crest that hill of tears.

As I’ve gotten deeper into photography I’ve started looking back through my old portfolio trying to find the gems. Unconsciously, I was also seeking some validation that perhaps I’m getting better. I don’t know about the latter (photography has its ups and downs) but I have found a lot of gems.

After listening to a podcast about street photography I remembered taking candid shots of a concert I attended just before the pandemic hit. At the time, the world was about to lose such experiences. I was about to lose my wife. She had already signed a rental agreement and at the time I was teetering on accepting her choice. The future was bleak for me, and for the rest of the world as well, though they didn’t know it.

I scrolled back through to that night, February 28th, 2020. The concert was at Jackrabbits in Jacksonville, FL. The acts performing were local: Hensley, Yellow Steve, Denver Hall, and Faze Wave. I went primarily for Hensley and Faze Wave as I had seen them before at Raindogs, but after this night I was a fan of all the acts.

Seeing that world in photographs smacked me so hard.

A world without social distancing. A world without masks. A world where people were just people, all colors, all ages, just enjoying a night out. This really was the last hurrah in a lot of ways.

And for me it was such a last gasp. I never even noticed the pandemic. My life completely fell apart and I didn’t have time to waste on the world outside. I wouldn’t even recognize the man who took these photos. He probably would despise me, and I envy him. He was as oblivious as the crowd was.

So many feelings broke loose looking at these. The very memories are tainted. But I saw the world through those past eyes. It’s a vision that eludes me right now.

I want to see that world again. To have those eyes again. But I can’t. I am a different person and the world has changed around me.

Is this catharsis? Have I purged the negative thoughts and emotions? I’m still working on it. Looking back seems to be one of the best ways to look forward. I see where I was. I see where the world was. Maybe some of that “innocence” is still there.

Even though I have been to many concerts and social events since, none of them quite have the feel of that particular time and place. Perhaps it’s my jaundiced emotions that make modern experiences less enjoyable. Perhaps the world truly *is* different. Either way, I’ll keep searching for that old world feel.

As for my emotional constipation, I don’t have to keep chasing newer and better things. However, there is nothing wrong with trying new and different things. They may not spark permanent joy, but they are worth doing, and doing as well as I can.

Perhaps in doing new things well, I’ll finally break the clog. If not, at least I’ll have fun right?

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October 4, 2022October 4, 2022 driptorchpress Sci-fi, Story, Uncategorized

“Document 13” A Dystopian Tale: Part 10

Welcome to part 10 of “Document 13”, a dystopian graphic novel I’m creating with my daughter. This week: an escape.

The year is 2074, the world has been plunged into darkness. One girl, Sarah Doe, will learn the secrets of the dark forces that run the ruined world. With the help of a few friends, her family, and her own powers she will fight to return the world to an order not known since well before her birth. Will she succeed? Read to find out!

If you haven’t read the other parts, go back and read them first!
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**Scene:** Just outside the secret hiding spot in the pantry. Sarah is zipping up a bag while Ruby waits.

R: You have everythin’?

S: I think so. You sure I can read well enough to understand your directions?

R: Girl, you read better than I do. You’re some kind of super genius or somethin’. You remember the signal?

S: Yeah. Stay behind you in the shadows until you put your hand behind your back.

*They walk out cautiously and Sarah lags behind a bit.*

**Scene:** Night time in the compound. All the orphans are asleep and aside from a few lights around the perimeter, everything is dark. Ruby is seen walking towards the suit room.

Orderly 2: What do you need?

R: I received a message that one of my family is hurt. I need a suit to see him.

O2: You know you have to get permission from the Headmistress to get a suit. Do you have it?

R: No, sir… I’m in a hurry, can we skip the formality just this once?

O2: Tell you what, the shift’s almost over, no one has been near this room for a month anyway, I’ll go with you and get her permission.

R: But sir, that will take too….

O2: Shutup! I’m not losing my job over you!

R: OK…

*She puts her hand behind her back and follows the orderly towards the office.*

*Sarah sneaks out of the shadows and approaches the suit room. Just as she gets in she hears a voice behind her.*

Orderly 1: So there you are! I knew if we gave it enough time you’d appear.

*The headmistress appears with Ruby and orderly 2.*

Hm: Send them outside. No suits.

Sarah: Kill me! Not her!

Hm: I can’t have any insubordination, both or none. I can always replace a cook…

Ruby: Girl, shh.

*The two orderlies shuffle them into the airlock.*

S: I’m sorry, Ruby! You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me. I should have just been obedient and left before!

R: No Sarah, you are here for a reason. The good Lord wanted me to find you. I don’t believe He’s gonna let you die, even if I do. You are special and if a noose didn’t kill you, nothin’ will. None of this is in vain. I’m not their slave, I can die with my head held high. I love you.

*The airlock opens, both women struggle to breathe, holding onto each other and finally falling still.*

Hm: Retrieve the bodies and dispose of them in the incinerator. Don’t mention this to any of the other orderlies. Do it quickly!

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